October 2013 Moms

Should cheating Husband be allowed in the delivery room?

So if anyone remembers my situation my husband moved out he is cheating with a 21 year old girl. He proclaims his love for her now and they have pictures if them together plastered all over Instagram and Facebook . We are now in the divorce process!yay! I have conflicting emotions over letting him in the room wether vaginal or c- section I don't want him in there! Am I wrong to keep him out?
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Re: Should cheating Husband be allowed in the delivery room?

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  • No. While it is the birth of his child, it's more about you than the baby at that point. You don't need the stress of having him in there, and that's ultimately what's best for you and the baby. 
  • Wow, nope, definitely justified in my opinion! I can imagine that would cause you a lot of unnecessary stress.
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  • Fuck that!!! Cheating bastard can wait. You don't need that negative influence in the delivery room!
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  • Yup, to everyone
  • Hell no!! He walked out on you, his child & his obligations. A phone call should be all he gets.

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  • He didn't just cheat on you he cheated on the family you two decided to make. He should have thought of that and kept his pecker in his pants.
  • No way! I would text him once it's done and over with, and you feel well enough to let him know how it went! 
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  • Um, I would say HELL NO. It wouldn't even cross my mind to consider letting him in the room.
  • I wouldn't let him in during l&d if he makes you feel uncomfortable. The whole process is hard enough as it is, even with people you trust around. Do what you feel is right for you and your baby, you owe him nothing. If you decide against him being involved, I'd let the staff know. Good luck!
  • Absolutely not.  I wouldn't want him anywhere near me, I'd consider that bringing the child into a toxic environment.

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  • I'm going to have to agree with mostly everyone - no, he should definitely not be allowed. Yes, it's his child, but if he cared that much, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
  • I concur with everyone above. I wouldn't even be comfortable with him in the hospital! That's just me, though. You have every right to worry about just you and baby now...he lost that privilege.
  • edited August 2013
    I would say no. My ex left while I was pregnant with the almost 4 year old. I just found out I was pregnant and he walked out a week or 2 after. There was no other woman involved. We were on a semi friendly (talking) basis by the time baby was to be born. He was there at the Csection. Then he refused to leave the hospital room for my 3 day stay and the nurses were no help because it was a catholic hospital and we were still legally married. *sighs* I should have pushed harder, but they were good about guilt trips. So things were awkward.

    I can see others may think it is his baby too, they are right. Still, he left you guys. He moved on pretty fast. It is not like most men do to much in the early days with baby like the mother does. So I would just wait till after baby is born and call him or even wait till you are out of the hospital.

    If you want to make the point, remember, you do NOT have to give the baby his last name! Legally you do not. You can give the baby any last name you want even if you are married. He has no legal rights to name the baby.

    Edited because I need coffee and sounded even more out of it than normal
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  • Oh yeah, that dirty bird......UMM NO! I wouldn't allow him in at all..... That ship sailed when he stepped out on you!! But that's just my opinion
  • Definitely not.  You need supportive, caring people around you, which he is clearly not.  I would hate for bad feelings to come up while he is there and it cause stress and ruin the experience for you.

    I don't condone keeping the baby from him, but I would definitely wait until you are good and ready and feel up to it.

       

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  • huntjulhuntjul member
    edited August 2013
    Why are there no gifs in this thread? I thought I was opening some Jerry Springer goodness, and all I see are a few hell nos? Ladies, come on!
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  • Nope he doesn't deserve a text or phone call that you are giving birth or needs to be anywhere near you to make you upset while giving birth.
  • Hell to the no! Is he planning on bringing the hussy with him to see your baby in the hospital?
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  • Completely your choice.  He chose to cheat.  That does not mean he should lose fathering rights.  But being in the delivery room is not a fatherly right imo.  If you won't want him there, then he shouldn't be there. 
  • I agree with everyone. The person in the delivery room with you is called your support person for a reason. If you don't want him there you are completely justified in your decision.


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  • sleepy33 said:
    sfshorter said:
    After having been through a horrible ordeal with my ex/DD's biological father, I can promise you that it will make things worse for you.  I left him shortly after finding out about our baby because of his drugs and women problems.  For some reason, the idiot 20 year old in me let him be there when she was born, and he was nothing but a stress on me and provided no support at all.  Then, the next day, his 15 year old, yes, FIFTEEN, girlfriend just waltzed into my hospital room like she owned the place.  

    This is embarrassing for me to even admit, because I am a pretty normal person.  I worked my way through school and busted ass to raise my daughter, met a great man, and now have an amazing family.  I was always ABOVE his bullshit, but I was a kid in love.  Don't be that person and have regrets about the day your baby is born.  It's too important and too special.  I know it's hard to think about going through it without the father there, but he will not be there for you, as PPs have said.  Call your friends, or family, or whoever you have that can support you, and make it clear that he is not welcome in the delivery room.  Period.  

    OMG! Please tell my someone else was there to kick his and his teenage girlfriend's ass for you?!?! Or at least called the cops to report statutory rape...
    No, none of that happened.  She just walked in.  I was there by myself with my baby looking a hot mess.  He was 20 at the time.  Evidently the look on my face said enough because they both turned around and walked back out.  So embarrassing.  
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  • sfshorter said:
    sleepy33 said:
    sfshorter said:
    After having been through a horrible ordeal with my ex/DD's biological father, I can promise you that it will make things worse for you.  I left him shortly after finding out about our baby because of his drugs and women problems.  For some reason, the idiot 20 year old in me let him be there when she was born, and he was nothing but a stress on me and provided no support at all.  Then, the next day, his 15 year old, yes, FIFTEEN, girlfriend just waltzed into my hospital room like she owned the place.  

    This is embarrassing for me to even admit, because I am a pretty normal person.  I worked my way through school and busted ass to raise my daughter, met a great man, and now have an amazing family.  I was always ABOVE his bullshit, but I was a kid in love.  Don't be that person and have regrets about the day your baby is born.  It's too important and too special.  I know it's hard to think about going through it without the father there, but he will not be there for you, as PPs have said.  Call your friends, or family, or whoever you have that can support you, and make it clear that he is not welcome in the delivery room.  Period.  

    OMG! Please tell my someone else was there to kick his and his teenage girlfriend's ass for you?!?! Or at least called the cops to report statutory rape...
    No, none of that happened.  She just walked in.  I was there by myself with my baby looking a hot mess.  He was 20 at the time.  Evidently the look on my face said enough because they both turned around and walked back out.  So embarrassing.  
    At least they had SOME sense then! Geez. I can't imagine the nerve.
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  • huntjul said:
    Why are there no gifs in this thread? I thought I was opening some Jerry Springer goodness, and all I see are a few hell nos? Ladies, come on!
    My thoughts

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  • Mae208 said:
    HELL NO he should not be allowed! And don't feel guilty for one second for feeling that way
    Agreed, you need to be as calm and relaxed as possible!  You don't need that stress and anxiety.  Work out a custody arrangement after the birth and after you and LO have had time to bond. I am not saying keep him from meeting his child but I think it should totally be on YOUR terms. 

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  • I would have to say no, for someone who has put you through hell ( I can only imagine ) and back it may make your labor more difficult to have such stressful thoughts running through your head.  Focus on you and your true supporters after all, this is about you and not your selfish ex!!!
  • If he were still alive when I found out he for sure wouldn't be in the room to watch the baby be born.
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  • Agreed with everyone else.  Has he said he wants to be there or are you just anticipating? 
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  • I wouldn't want him there either!  So if you don't want him there, then he shouldn't be there. You need people who love and support you there for the birth. Not someone who has gone against your vows and trust.

    He can wait in the waiting room and get the news there.
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  • Inn2Inn2 member
    Definitely not. This about you and your LO. He lost that right when he decided his family didn't matter enough to obey his vows. Stay strong!
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  • Nope, he cheated on you while you were/are pregnant, moved in with another girl, and y'all are gettin a divorce, the only way id let him know I had the baby is by dropping off the paper work for child support and a court hearing or an appointment with a lawyer for the parenting plan.... You are a much nicer person than me to let him be there if that's what you choose. I would also block him and his gf and all his friends and family off my FB or just delete my FB so I could make damn sure he couldn't get pictures of the baby until I wanted him to. But I'm feeling kinda angry and spiteful today
  • The immature bitch inside of me wants to say yes just so you can scratch him, punch him, kick him, and pull his hair and blame it on the labor.

    The mature side..not a chance in hell!
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