So if anyone remembers my situation my husband moved out he is cheating with a 21 year old girl. He proclaims his love for her now and they have pictures if them together plastered all over Instagram and Facebook . We are now in the divorce process!yay! I have conflicting emotions over letting him in the room wether vaginal or c- section I don't want him in there! Am I wrong to keep him out?
Uhhh I wouldn't want him there. He would be lucky to get a phone call that I was going into labor. But I'm super bitchy right now so I kind of feel like that isn't the most mature/reasonable response?
No. While it is the birth of his child, it's more about you than the baby at that point. You don't need the stress of having him in there, and that's ultimately what's best for you and the baby.
Nope. He shouldn't have cheated. Bad actions have consequences, and he shouldn't get to share that special moment with you. If I were in your shoes I would 100% absolutely not have him there. I probably would send a text AFTER the baby was out.
I wouldn't let him in during l&d if he makes you feel uncomfortable. The whole process is hard enough as it is, even with people you trust around. Do what you feel is right for you and your baby, you owe him nothing. If you decide against him being involved, I'd let the staff know. Good luck!
I'm going to have to agree with mostly everyone - no, he should definitely not be allowed. Yes, it's his child, but if he cared that much, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
I concur with everyone above. I wouldn't even be comfortable with him in the hospital! That's just me, though. You have every right to worry about just you and baby now...he lost that privilege.
Uh no. He should definitely not be there. I would maybe send him a text once everything is over and done with and you are comfortable. Maybe like a week later when you are home and have a routine down. Ugh. I want to cock punch him so hard for you.
I would say no. My ex left while I was pregnant with the almost 4 year old. I just found out I was pregnant and he walked out a week or 2 after. There was no other woman involved. We were on a semi friendly (talking) basis by the time baby was to be born. He was there at the Csection. Then he refused to leave the hospital room for my 3 day stay and the nurses were no help because it was a catholic hospital and we were still legally married. *sighs* I should have pushed harder, but they were good about guilt trips. So things were awkward.
I can see others may think it is his baby too, they are right. Still, he left you guys. He moved on pretty fast. It is not like most men do to much in the early days with baby like the mother does. So I would just wait till after baby is born and call him or even wait till you are out of the hospital.
If you want to make the point, remember, you do NOT have to give the baby his last name! Legally you do not. You can give the baby any last name you want even if you are married. He has no legal rights to name the baby.
Edited because I need coffee and sounded even more out of it than normal
Definitely not. You need supportive, caring people around you, which he is clearly not. I would hate for bad feelings to come up while he is there and it cause stress and ruin the experience for you.
I don't condone keeping the baby from him, but I would definitely wait until you are good and ready and feel up to it.
Completely your choice. He chose to cheat. That does not mean he should lose fathering rights. But being in the delivery room is not a fatherly right imo. If you won't want him there, then he shouldn't be there.
I agree with everyone. The person in the delivery room with you is called your support person for a reason. If you don't want him there you are completely justified in your decision.
Married my love 8-25-12
TTC #1 September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. DS born 10-16-13.
TTC #2 in December 2014. BFP 12-31-14. Expecting a September baby!
After having been through a horrible ordeal with my ex/DD's biological father, I can promise you that it will make things worse for you. I left him shortly after finding out about our baby because of his drugs and women problems. For some reason, the idiot 20 year old in me let him be there when she was born, and he was nothing but a stress on me and provided no support at all. Then, the next day, his 15 year old, yes, FIFTEEN, girlfriend just waltzed into my hospital room like she owned the place.
This is embarrassing for me to even admit, because I am a pretty normal person. I worked my way through school and busted ass to raise my daughter, met a great man, and now have an amazing family. I was always ABOVE his bullshit, but I was a kid in love. Don't be that person and have regrets about the day your baby is born. It's too important and too special. I know it's hard to think about going through it without the father there, but he will not be there for you, as PPs have said. Call your friends, or family, or whoever you have that can support you, and make it clear that he is not welcome in the delivery room. Period.
After having been through a horrible ordeal with my ex/DD's biological father, I can promise you that it will make things worse for you. I left him shortly after finding out about our baby because of his drugs and women problems. For some reason, the idiot 20 year old in me let him be there when she was born, and he was nothing but a stress on me and provided no support at all. Then, the next day, his 15 year old, yes, FIFTEEN, girlfriend just waltzed into my hospital room like she owned the place.
This is embarrassing for me to even admit, because I am a pretty normal person. I worked my way through school and busted ass to raise my daughter, met a great man, and now have an amazing family. I was always ABOVE his bullshit, but I was a kid in love. Don't be that person and have regrets about the day your baby is born. It's too important and too special. I know it's hard to think about going through it without the father there, but he will not be there for you, as PPs have said. Call your friends, or family, or whoever you have that can support you, and make it clear that he is not welcome in the delivery room. Period.
OMG! Please tell my someone else was there to kick his and his teenage girlfriend's ass for you?!?! Or at least called the cops to report statutory rape...
After having been through a horrible ordeal with my ex/DD's biological father, I can promise you that it will make things worse for you. I left him shortly after finding out about our baby because of his drugs and women problems. For some reason, the idiot 20 year old in me let him be there when she was born, and he was nothing but a stress on me and provided no support at all. Then, the next day, his 15 year old, yes, FIFTEEN, girlfriend just waltzed into my hospital room like she owned the place.
This is embarrassing for me to even admit, because I am a pretty normal person. I worked my way through school and busted ass to raise my daughter, met a great man, and now have an amazing family. I was always ABOVE his bullshit, but I was a kid in love. Don't be that person and have regrets about the day your baby is born. It's too important and too special. I know it's hard to think about going through it without the father there, but he will not be there for you, as PPs have said. Call your friends, or family, or whoever you have that can support you, and make it clear that he is not welcome in the delivery room. Period.
OMG! Please tell my someone else was there to kick his and his teenage girlfriend's ass for you?!?! Or at least called the cops to report statutory rape...
No, none of that happened. She just walked in. I was there by myself with my baby looking a hot mess. He was 20 at the time. Evidently the look on my face said enough because they both turned around and walked back out. So embarrassing.
After having been through a horrible ordeal with my ex/DD's biological father, I can promise you that it will make things worse for you. I left him shortly after finding out about our baby because of his drugs and women problems. For some reason, the idiot 20 year old in me let him be there when she was born, and he was nothing but a stress on me and provided no support at all. Then, the next day, his 15 year old, yes, FIFTEEN, girlfriend just waltzed into my hospital room like she owned the place.
This is embarrassing for me to even admit, because I am a pretty normal person. I worked my way through school and busted ass to raise my daughter, met a great man, and now have an amazing family. I was always ABOVE his bullshit, but I was a kid in love. Don't be that person and have regrets about the day your baby is born. It's too important and too special. I know it's hard to think about going through it without the father there, but he will not be there for you, as PPs have said. Call your friends, or family, or whoever you have that can support you, and make it clear that he is not welcome in the delivery room. Period.
OMG! Please tell my someone else was there to kick his and his teenage girlfriend's ass for you?!?! Or at least called the cops to report statutory rape...
No, none of that happened. She just walked in. I was there by myself with my baby looking a hot mess. He was 20 at the time. Evidently the look on my face said enough because they both turned around and walked back out. So embarrassing.
At least they had SOME sense then! Geez. I can't imagine the nerve.
HELL NO he should not be allowed! And don't feel guilty for one second for feeling that way
Agreed, you need to be as calm and relaxed as possible! You don't need that stress and anxiety. Work out a custody arrangement after the birth and after you and LO have had time to bond. I am not saying keep him from meeting his child but I think it should totally be on YOUR terms.
I would have to say no, for someone who has put you through hell ( I can only imagine ) and back it may make your labor more difficult to have such stressful thoughts running through your head. Focus on you and your true supporters after all, this is about you and not your selfish ex!!!
I wouldn't want him there either! So if you don't want him there, then he shouldn't be there. You need people who love and support you there for the birth. Not someone who has gone against your vows and trust.
He can wait in the waiting room and get the news there.
TTC since June/09. 1st cycle diagnosed with slight hypothyroidism. Clomid, dexamethasone, HCG trigger shot. BFN 2nd cycle, Clomid, dexamethasone, HCG trigger shot. BFN 3rd cycle, Clomid, dexamethasone, ovulated with out tigger. BFN 4th cycle, Clomid, dexamethasone, HCG trigger shot. BFP!!! EDD 12/31/2011 ----- actual birthday 01/05/2012
Nope, he cheated on you while you were/are pregnant, moved in with another girl, and y'all are gettin a divorce, the only way id let him know I had the baby is by dropping off the paper work for child support and a court hearing or an appointment with a lawyer for the parenting plan.... You are a much nicer person than me to let him be there if that's what you choose. I would also block him and his gf and all his friends and family off my FB or just delete my FB so I could make damn sure he couldn't get pictures of the baby until I wanted him to. But I'm feeling kinda angry and spiteful today
Re: Should cheating Husband be allowed in the delivery room?
BFP #1 09/15/09, MMC 09/28/09
BFP #2 06/04/12, EDD 02/09/13, MC at 6w3d on 06/18/12
BFP #3 01/16/13, EDD 10/04/13, Born 09/17/13
I can see others may think it is his baby too, they are right. Still, he left you guys. He moved on pretty fast. It is not like most men do to much in the early days with baby like the mother does. So I would just wait till after baby is born and call him or even wait till you are out of the hospital.
If you want to make the point, remember, you do NOT have to give the baby his last name! Legally you do not. You can give the baby any last name you want even if you are married. He has no legal rights to name the baby.
Edited because I need coffee and sounded even more out of it than normal
DS2 - 8/08
DS3- 9/09
DD1 - 11/11
DD2 - 10/13
DD3 - Csection Scheduled November 29th
Definitely not. You need supportive, caring people around you, which he is clearly not. I would hate for bad feelings to come up while he is there and it cause stress and ruin the experience for you.
I don't condone keeping the baby from him, but I would definitely wait until you are good and ready and feel up to it.
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He can wait in the waiting room and get the news there.
1st cycle diagnosed with slight hypothyroidism. Clomid, dexamethasone, HCG trigger shot. BFN
2nd cycle, Clomid, dexamethasone, HCG trigger shot. BFN
3rd cycle, Clomid, dexamethasone, ovulated with out tigger. BFN
4th cycle, Clomid, dexamethasone, HCG trigger shot. BFP!!!
EDD 12/31/2011 ----- actual birthday 01/05/2012
Surprise BFP! - EDD 10/14/2013
The mature side..not a chance in hell!