February 2014 Moms

Disappointed

I has my first official OB appointment today and it sucked. I wanted to have an ultrasound done and hear the baby's HB but the doctor said she didn't do that until 12 weeks bc she wanted the full U/S done and by then you will be able to hear it. Then I hear how ppl at 8 weeks could hear their baby's HB and I feel cheated. I know hormones are playing a part in me so upset but all I eat want to do is cry. I don't feel relieved or any of my fears put at ease by this visit. I felt like it was pointless and a waste of my time. I feel as though I cannot get excited about being pregnant bc I still have that high fear that I will miscarry. Sorry for the long rant but I just needed to rant. My husband just doesn't understand why I am so upset and bless his heart he tries to make me feel better. Unfortunately it's not working. I hope everyone else is having a better night than me.

Re: Disappointed

  • I'm so sorry it was such a disappointment! If it helps, a lot of us had earlier u/s because of previous losses or other issues. 12 weeks does seem like a painfully long wait, though!
  • A lot of earlier ultrasounds are because of fertility issues, past losses, or issues during the pregnancy, so don't feel cheated. Some practices do it differently, but 8 week scans certainly aren't standard.

    I'm sorry you're so stressed and afraid. I hope the next weeks pass quickly.


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  • pskpsk
    Tenth Anniversary 250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
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    I'm sorry you were disappointed, if i was expecting one and it didnt happen i would feel the same. one thing this board has taught me is that every doctor does things differently. I think it is actually pretty common to only get 2: one at 12 weeks, the other at 20. Hopefully your doctor went over what to expect at future appointments so you are not disappointed, and if you have questions, definitely call and ask!
  • Thanks ladies. It was just hard bc I had several women in my life who gave birth this past year and they all kept prepping me as if this was the norm and when she told me not until 12w my heart just sank. I guess I should stop listening to them so my hopes don't get up so high and then things like this happen.
  • Fabrizior said:

    Thanks ladies. It was just hard bc I had several women in my life who gave birth this past year and they all kept prepping me as if this was the norm and when she told me not until 12w my heart just sank. I guess I should stop listening to them so my hopes don't get up so high and then things like this happen.

    I'm sorry you felt so disappointed.

    If it helps, remember that you got to meet the OB and get your urine checked so it wasn't a complete waste. Checking your urine is important!


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  • Thanks ladies. It was just hard bc I had several women in my life who gave birth this past year and they all kept prepping me as if this was the norm and when she told me not until 12w my heart just sank. I guess I should stop listening to them so my hopes don't get up so high and then things like this happen.
    I'm sorry you felt so disappointed. If it helps, remember that you got to meet the OB and get your urine checked so it wasn't a complete waste. Checking your urine is important!

    Why is having your urine checked important? Sorry if this is a silly question.
  • I'm sorry that you left your Dr's appointment disappointed. Honestly, I'm shocked when I read these posts that women have to wait until 12 weeks for an u/s. Given how high the rate of miscarriages are, I think it's cruel to force a woman to wait until she's 12 weeks in to know if everything is going well or if there's a missed m/c. And I say this as someone who had a missed mc last year. Plus, I call BS on what she told you about the heartbeat. We didn't hear the HB at our 10 week appointment, but we could see it and that was good enough for us. 

    Sadly, a lot of treatments (and lack thereof) revolve around cost-saving measures. With the Bump changes, I can't see your ticker with how far along you are. But I might push to get an u/s or to even switch doctors. Or at the very least, find out exactly how often you can get an u/s after the 12 week mark. 

    I apologize that I couldn't offer a more "cheery" message but this stuff just gets my goat! I'll retreat from my hormone propelled pedestal now. 




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    BFP#1: 10-20-12 Missed M/C: 11-30-12
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  • Fabrizior said:



    Fabrizior said:

    Thanks ladies. It was just hard bc I had several women in my life who gave birth this past year and they all kept prepping me as if this was the norm and when she told me not until 12w my heart just sank. I guess I should stop listening to them so my hopes don't get up so high and then things like this happen.

    I'm sorry you felt so disappointed.

    If it helps, remember that you got to meet the OB and get your urine checked so it wasn't a complete waste. Checking your urine is important!





    Why is having your urine checked important? Sorry if this is a silly question.

    UTIs can be dangerous during pregnancy and not all show symptoms, so they'll look for signs. Also for me at least, they look for ketones so know how bad my MS is and if I need to be hospitalized. They'll do it at almost all your appointments.


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  • Thanks ladies. It was just hard bc I had several women in my life who gave birth this past year and they all kept prepping me as if this was the norm and when she told me not until 12w my heart just sank. I guess I should stop listening to them so my hopes don't get up so high and then things like this happen.
    I'm sorry you felt so disappointed. If it helps, remember that you got to meet the OB and get your urine checked so it wasn't a complete waste. Checking your urine is important!

    Why is having your urine checked important? Sorry if this is a silly question.
    UTIs can be dangerous during pregnancy and not all show symptoms, so they'll look for signs. Also for me at least, they look for ketones so know how bad my MS is and if I need to be hospitalized. They'll do it at almost all your appointments.

    It depends on what all they're checking for.  My new clinic apparently checks urine every time for protein (fine by me), but they also screen each time for illegal drugs, which I think is B.S. b/c I have to pay for their policy!  Screen a couple times throughout, fine, but if they're all negative, & I have NO history of illegal drugs, then you're just wasting my money.
    As for the protein, it can be indicative of UTI, but also issues with your kidneys, plus later on in pregnancy, it can be a sign of pre-eclampsia, & sometimes they check your sugars by urine, too, so...if you have a question to what all they're testing for, ASK.

    I'm sorry you left disappointed.  That does suck.  And, depending on what kind of u/s she intends to do, she may or may not be full of it.  I had the internal u/s with the wand, & they heard the heartbeats at 7 weeks, & again at 10, but if they'd used the outer one on the tummy, I really don't know when the earliest is they can effectively pick that up.

    With so many miscarriages though, I think they should change it to an optional u/s by request at 8-10 weeks, and then carry on as usual from there.  Some will want it, some won't.  I'm sure it'll also be some sort of insurance issue, but it's still a better option than just "We don't do that."
  • I had the same experience at my 8 week appointment, it was very anti-climatic. I'm having a hard time connecting with my baby because I don't know if s/he is ok...tell my family the only reason I know I'm pregnant is the little pink line :) But I do completely understand your frustrations!
    BabyFetus Ticker
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