Dh and I hit a bit of a snag this past week with us bickering more and it's got me down. I'm feeling really run down because ds has not been sleeping well the last couple of days. I don't know what has changed, but he has been up what seems like a million times. He still naps, but I can't seem to fall asleep when I try, so I don't really try anymore. I had been feeling pretty good for a while, but feel like I've hit the wall, hard. I feel tired in my bones. I go from content to pissed with dh over baby care, comments I take the wrong way, etc. It's been snowing and cold, so I haven't been able to get out and do things I need to do for Christmas or just for fun. Yesterday I had to cancel a lunch date with friends that I had looked forward to because it snowed and I didn't want to drag the baby out in it (where I was going doesn't plow the streets well).
Last night I had a breakdown because I got mad at dh for getting tired and going to bed when I still was up doing chores (I offered to bake him a pie for a work party and didn't get started until late b/c of the baby). We argued until after midnight and ds ended up having another wakeful night. I ended up breaking down again this morning and dh was very late for work, both of us tired and resentful.
I feel like I do most of the baby care right now. While dh is very helpful around the house, I feel that he relies a bit too much on me to care for ds. He will do whatever I ask him to do without complaint, but I guess I had an expectation that he wouldn't need to be asked and would just think "Hey, it's time for baby's bath, maybe I'll do it so my wife can relax". He has a 10 year old son who we have every weekend, so I guess I assumed that he knew how to care for babies.
Again, he does what I ask him to do without problem. Why can't he just do it without me being the cruise director of our family? When will it be more organic? I'm afraid that I'm going to become the bitter, resentful wife.
Sorry about the ramble. I am just having really rough day.
Dh will gladly